Six Self-Realizations in Entrepreneurship
#1 - I have to ask for help (and this isn’t a sign of weakness)
When I thought of the words entrepreneur (or solopreneur or self-employed), they seemed inherently independent and isolated. But I’ve learned that operating your own business is anything but independent and isolated. I’ve found that I need community, and more often than not, I need expertise from outsiders.
I’ve hired attorneys, worked with bankers and accountants, had to have insurance explained to me as though I was a child, and asked questions of my peers in the field (often when I was way embarrassed to have to do so!). One of the most humbling parts of entrepreneurship has been realizing all the things I don’t know.
#2 - I’m not going to be everyone’s cup of tea
A big attraction in operating my own business was feeling like I wasn’t being strangled by the expectations of being part of a big employer. I’ve got an opinion on just about everything and don’t like feeling like I can’t express it. I realize that mouthing off opinions can be a liability (but I just consider it brand authenticity).
I’ve realized fairly quickly that my consulting style includes message delivery, which is very casual and down-to-earth, and really challenges my clients to be forward-minded. I like to dive into future trends, how the private sector is innovating, and challenge the organizations I work with to think 20 steps ahead of their competitors. I want to nudge organizations that are sticking in the safe lane of the status quo to think outside the box and innovate. This style is NOT for everyone – and that’s okay.
#3 - I’m going to get feedback and recommendations on just about everything
Even the things you’d think you wouldn’t get feedback on, you will. I’ve received unsolicited feedback (good and bad) on my business cards, logo, website design, my proposal formatting, my cost estimates, etc., etc., etc. People want to help you. Or they’re salty and trying to tear you down. Whatever – that’s their problem, not your problem. Graciously accept feedback, receive that which you want to, and move on with your life. Surprisingly, receiving feedback and not taking it personally is something that I’ve gotten better at.
I’m also realizing that it’s 100% okay to say something along the lines of: “I’m actually just looking to vent right now, not for suggestions at this time. But I’ll be sure to ask if I need recommendations!”.
Boundary setting is a good thing.
#4 - I’m going to be continually humbled on this learning curve
Blame it on my being labeled as a G&T (gifted and talented, not gin and tonic) millennial, but I love to think of myself as an expert. Whether it is or merited or not, you leave me unattended long enough and I’ll start spouting off about something. Native plants, composting, sourdough starters, Real Housewives of Atlanta, college football, etc. I see a soapbox and I’m up on it preaching within minutes. Delusional or confident? Depends on your perspective.
Anyway, I kind of assumed that I would just try out this entrepreneurship thing and within six months or so, I’d have mastered it and be cash-flowing a regular salary. L-O-freaking-L.
Every time I think I have it figured out, I have to be humbled and realize “okay, guess I didn’t know what I was doing there”. I think it’s healthy realizing that we are never done learning and that while we can have subject matter expertise – we don’t know the ins and outs of everything. In my case, I still have a lot to learn about business ownership.
#5 - I really don’t mix well with the fiercely independent entrepreneurial crowd
I remember this time last year meeting with my career coach and saying “I’m just not entrepreneurial”. What I meant by that was that (in my brain) I associated entrepreneurship with chaotic, disorganized, creative types who didn’t appreciate deadlines, structure, or processes. (If you’ve ever done Real Colors training, I pegged most entrepreneurs as oranges). I’m a Gold/Green, so you can imagine the stress and horror of pursuing a career path that was more traditionally orange. NOT ON BRAND!!
I’ve always heard the expression “those who can’t work with others work for themselves”. I try REALLY hard not to be that person. I really didn’t like people who were trailblazers for no other reason other than that they liked that black sheep brand.
Not all entrepreneurs are like that. But there are plenty who are. I don’t vibe with those people AT ALL, and that’s okay. I’m getting better at identifying them quickly and steering clear. I’m a natural-born collaborator, a connector of people and ideas, and someone who wants to find consensus and community. People who are fiercely independent are simply exhausting to me.
#6 - I define my own success
A year into entrepreneurship, I love parts of this and I hate parts of this. A separate post dissecting my loves and hates is coming soon. I often get people who ask “how is it going”? (Aka, code for “are you making enough money?”). “Well” and “not yet” would be my answers respectively at this moment in time if I’m being honest.
I’m incredibly fortunate that I went into this with a partner who is helping financially in year one. So, I didn’t go into this with a scarcity mindset or a hustle mindset. (Some people have to go into business in that way and that is fine for them). I went into this field recovering after having a breakdown and experiencing severe burnout.
I knew that what I needed most for my physical and mental health this year was to take a break from hyper-productivity, and work-related stress, and to find a healthy relationship to work. So for me in year one, success has not been defined by:
· My billable totals each month
· My proposal award rate
· My cash flow
· My networking events attended
Rather, I’ve defined success by:
· How much I’m able to sleep and exercise
· The time I’m able to spend with family
· My stress levels (and how that stress shows up physically)
· My excitement and engagement with projects
· How I can show my clients that I care about them and bring value to them
· My personal growth
I may not be a full-time entrepreneur forever. I’m not sure yet. But I do feel that I’ve made leaps and bounds in my personal success metrics. It may not meet everyone’s definition of success, but it meets my own.
