For those of you who know me professionally, you might remember when I made a post last year about 5 reasons to binge Hallmark movies if you work in urban planning or downtown revitalization (it is often the case that the films are centered in historic downtowns).

For those of you who know me personally, you might have seen that I’ve dedicated my TikTok accounts this holiday season to providing 3 minute or less reviews of holiday rom coms (I’ll wrap up my 50th review this week). You can see my full spreadsheet of reviews here (if you’re looking for something to watch this week!).

I get a LOT of crap from people for liking these movies and I get sent so many memes (I’ve included some ones that made me laugh in this post)! But honestly, I get more secret DMs from people telling me that they are closeted Hallmark/Lifetime movie fans themselves. Can we just agree societally to stop dogging people for what they like to watch already?

Having subjected my brain to more than 60 hours of holiday rom coms this season alone, I’ve realized that these films offer greater depth than many might think. Yes, on the surface they are a bit predictable and formulaic. But we can also step back and appreciate a few things that these films remind us of, just below the surface.

Small Cities and Small Businesses are all about Connection

It’s a running joke that these holiday rom coms either center around small towns (often in New England) or around small, family-owned businesses (who are often experiencing financial competition and struggling). I’ve been tracking data points on all of the holiday movies I’ve watched and reviewed so far this season. A few trends I’ve noticed:

Nearly 40% of the holiday rom coms I watched took place in small towns, overwhelmingly in New England or in Rocky Mountain states.
Nearly 35% of the romantic interests worked as entrepreneurs in small towns, for family-owned businesses (often multigenerational), or in roles that served as creative connectors of people (photographers, brewery managers, etc.)
Many of the romantic interests ended up returning to the small town in question because of a connection to family or the family business (often times a family death or medical incident leads to the ‘boomerang’ of the child back to the hometown where the parents resided)
Plot lines center around saving things of value in the community – saving a family-owned bakery or music venue, supporting a local museum, saving a holiday festival or community play / musical performance. These small cities’ beloved assets are all places where people connect – and communities rally together to save these assets. You might even say that they’re engaged in asset-based community development?

Large Cities Can be More Anonymous, Smaller Cities Can be More Personal

This may be an unfair criticism of larger metropolitan areas (and people find their community within larger metros, I’m aware), but only about 16% of the films I’ve reviewed have taken place in large metros (LA, New York City, Chicago).

Note: it’s worth noting, I made an effort to review some Hanukkah movies this year and all of the Hanukkah movies are set in major cities. We haven’t caught up to writing plot lines that allow Jewish people to live in the suburbs, I guess. With time shall come progress, I suppose!

Almost overwhelmingly, these films are set in smaller cities or in extremely remote locations. These settings personify personal connection for characters. Characters run into friends from school, their parents friends, or even connect with places that were significant to them in their childhood. I, for one, cannot relate to folks walking the halls of their high school and experiencing transcendental bliss.

The Great Resignation and Holiday Rom Coms

Another running joke about these films are that the leads (career-oriented women) leave the City to travel to a small town, meet a hunky hometown hero, and quit their job to live in the small town. There’s a bit of truth in it. Many storylines feature a homecoming, and MANY, MANY of these films feature an initial love interest who is a self-absorbed guy in the big city. With some geographic distance, the women see more clearly that they are dating total self-absorbed losers and kick them to the curb.

What is not true is that women overwhelmingly leave their jobs. Less than 24% of the time, the woman leaves their job outright. (For what it’s worth, in our sample, 83% of the films we reviewed feature a woman lead with a male romantic interest.)

What is more common in the storyline is for the individual to pivot within their own industry. This might include:

Starting their own business in the same field
Working in the same job in a new location
Pivoting slightly and applying their skills to a new niche
Pursuing their passion as a career

These films are not just about finding a romantic partner. They’re about internal reflection and assessing what is really important to the lead (which often also touches on their career path).

In the era of The Great Resignation, The Great Reshuffling, Quiet Quitting and taking ownership in what we do and where we perform our job for our “9-5”, why are we so mad about people charting their own course?

I, for one, find it refreshing that holiday rom com leads realize quickly that their job is NOT the most important thing in their life, and that they are willing to make sacrifices to spend time in a place that is meaningful to them and doing a job that brings personal enrichment to them.

The Science of Social Connectedness

If you’ve not heard of the term ‘social connectedness’ – you’re not alone. Social connection is defined as “a sense of belonging to a group, family, or community”. I was first exposed to this concept by the Winnebago County Health Department Taskforces, including one that was focused several years ago on the connections between social connectedness and community health outcomes. You can learn more about some work happening in Canada in this space here. (This is extra relevant because more than 60% of the holiday rom coms we reviewed are filmed in Canada - thank you, tax credits!)

The science is clear: people who feel connected to a group have lower prevalence of mental illness, and have better physical health due to lower participation in activities like smoking and drinking).

As I’ve outlined above, folks in these movies are deeply connected to physical places, to the people and businesses operating in those places, and are connected to their own deeper knowledge of their strengths and sense of purpose.

Your Own Hallmark Movie Personal Reflection Exercise

Before we make another knock on holiday rom coms this season, let’s realize that we could all learn a thing or two from these formulaic storylines. I challenge anyone who has read this far to think on a few things:

1. Do you have a community where you feel deeply connected? A place where you lived now, or for any period of time in the past?

2. Do you have any specific places within that community that come to mind? A school or business setting? A place you once worked? A restaurant where you had a memorable event?

3. Do you have any family or locally-owned businesses that were significant to you as a child or young adult? What memories does that business (or businesses) hold for you?

4. Have you ever supported a cause, an event, or a business in a community? Such as raising money to support a specific cause, support a community event, or to help a struggling small business?

If you had answers to any of these questions above, I hope they brought a smile to your face. The spirit of Hallmark / Lifetime truly lives within us all!

What Holiday Rom Coms Can Teach Us About Social Connectedness